Saturday, February 19, 2011

15 months

Dearest Lilly Bean...
It's hard to write these days. Hard to know what to's hard to know what to do. How can I be so incredibly happy when I feel so completely empty without you in our lives?
We miss you with every fiber of our being. There isn't a day that we don't speak of you. That I don't see your beautiful pictures all over the house and thank God for the time that He gave me with you.
I can't believe that you've been gone for 15 months... and then in the next breath, it seems like you've been gone for years. November 13th,2009 seems so far away.
Someone asked about you yesterday - and it caught me off guard. What am I supposed to say when people ask if your brothers and/or sisters in my tummy are my only children. I had a guy say, well... you already have one at home...right? Well... not the home that you would normally think of. *sigh* I had to tell him that you, our precious daughter, passed away over a year ago, in November of 2009.
I have mixed feelings of how I should feel with posed with this question. I hate to spring the whole "my child passed away" thing on people, but then I feel flat our guilty if I don't mention you. So... I have decided I'd rather make people uncomfortable for a brief moment... and hope that I have the chance to tell your story.
I love you little're amazing.

All my heart,