missing you, baby girl.

Dear Lilly Bean...
 Daddy and I are headed on vacation in a few days. We weren't supposed to go. We weren't supposed to be able to afford vacation, because we were supposed to be taking care of a little bundle of joy. a.k.a - you.
 It's still so hard to accept that you're gone...that you're no longer with us here on earth. It's killing me on the inside.
 I miss you so much little girl... more than any person could ever understand. I think of you constantly. There isn't a day (or hardly an hour) that goes by that you don't pass through my thoughts.
 I thought that I was past the breaking down in public phase. No such luck. I met a beautiful baby girl on Friday. Her name is Lily. Her mommy and daddy prayed for her for a long time, after they lost three of her brothers/sisters before her. When I heard her name, I lost it. I couldn't help but think of you.
 Not in a million years did I ever think that I could love someone (that I never met) as much as I love you, little girl.
 I still remember holding you like it was yesterday. I remember your precious face...with such a peaceful look on it. I remember your soft skin. I remember your smell. I remember your beautiful dark brown hair. I remember how tiny you were. I remember you. I'll never forget you, Lilly. I love you with everything that I am, and I always will.


Loving you until the end of time,
                                                 Mommy