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Dear Lilly,
   Last night was a good night. I haven't had one of those in a while. Daddy and me were actually laughing and enjoying one anothers company. I almost feel guilty during times like these. How can I be happy? Laughing? Smiling? All the while your picture is sitting two feet away from me, reminding me of what could have been - every time I look at it.
   I go back to see Dr S on Tuesday. We'll find out if there is hope of a baby brother or sister this month. I'm praying that there will be - even though if I am told there is hope, I'll be scared out of my mind. And I'll feel guilty.
   A lot of emotions bouncing around in there...and I don't know what to do with all of them. I love you little girl. All my heart.

Forever,
   Mommy